Citizenship Caned, DEI Another Day and the highlights from Day 1 of Trump 2.0

Hello and welcome to another edition of The Weekly Vine. This week, we  commemorate the orange one’s return to the White House. But first, a little trip down memory lane on how Donald Trump helped me meet my wife.

Dylan once sang during his slightly insouciant youth about his girlfriend Suzie Rotolo: “I once met a woman, a child I am told. I gave her my heart, but she wanted my soul.” Unlike Bob Dylan, I did meet a woman, a child I am told, but I gave her my heart and soul.  And it wouldn’t have been possible without Donald Trump, whose deep anti-immigrant rhetoric during the first term led an investment banker to swap New York for Navi Mumbai, where she ran into yours truly.

Well, personally, Trump might be cupid for me, but that’s not how his opponents view him. They are still seething about the fact that Trump pulled off a few things even before returning to the White House, like the Israel-Hamas ceasefire. And to think that all this began with a Barack Obama joke.

Here are some of The Vine’s top moments from the inauguration and Day 1 of the new Trumpage:

Citizenship Caned

Trump threw a spanner in the works with an executive order that he will be removing jus soli (citizenship by birth). For those who don’t know, any child of illegal immigrants could become a U.S. citizen simply by being born on its territory, but Trump plans to put an end to that. While the idea was that it would only affect children of illegal immigrants, even documented immigrants like H-1B holders, or those who have work or student visas, will be affected. A million Indians are waiting in a decades-long queue for employment, and any children born 30 days after this executive order (where the father isn’t a green card holder) won’t get automatic U.S. citizenship.

Tough times ahead for Indian-Americans who backed MAGA.

Pardon Season

After Joe Biden spent his last days pardoning everyone he could think of (from his family to Fauci), Trump decided to pardon over 1,500 J-6ers. The full list includes individuals who had stormed the Capitol on January 6, 2021. While 55% of the pardons were for minor offenses, others were for more serious crimes. As a U.S. Capitol police officer’s brother said, “Donald Trump and his loyalists not only celebrate the deadly mob that killed my brother — they are determined to pardon those responsible. It is a betrayal to not only the families and loved ones of those who were injured and killed but to all Americans.”

On the other hand, MAGA has long claimed that the Jan 6 wasn’t an insurrection, and the subsequent law-and-order crackdown was the “deep state” going after Trump supporters.

The Musk Nazi Salute

Elon Musk has been saying for a while—much to the chagrin of mainstream media outlets—that, “You are the media now.” Perhaps he has a point after a bunch of mainstream outlets ran a story that Musk gave the Nazi salute during a speech, whereas it’s evident for anyone with two brain cells to rub together that it was an awkward gesture shared.

Not one sane Jew thinks Musk is either a Nazi or made the Nazi salute, but that didn’t stop Democrats from going to town claiming that was what it was based on a clip. The idea that one of the smartest people in the history of mankind would make a Nazi gesture with the whole world watching is the kind of thinking that got the Dems into this hole in the first place, particularly since they aren’t too bothered by all the anti-Jewish, anti-Israel sentiment from their progressive fans. The only question is whether it’s Occam’s or Hanlon’s Razor at work because it’s impossible to ascertain whether this stems from malice or plain stupidity.

DEI Another Day

Donald Trump’s actions so far are like the plot in Gunda, a cult classic where characters say things and immediately proceed to do them. During the election, Trump’s campaign tagline read: “Trump is for you. Kamala is they/them.” In one presidential order, Trump has put all DEI employees on paid leave (including Chief Diversity Officers) and has also terminated all DEI-related grants and initiatives within 60 days. Team Trump has argued that DEI just fosters division and wastes taxpayer resources, and Trump is moving very, very fast to make America ‘unwoke’ again.

Two Genders

Imagine there’s no spectrum. No fluidity. No identity beyond the chromosomes assigned at conception. It’s easy if you try—especially now, under the sweeping directive of President Trump’s executive order. In one bold stroke, the administration has erased the complexities of gender identity from federal policy, replacing it with a black-and-white world of biological binaries. For the federal government, there are just two genders—male and female—and that’s all there will ever be.

For women, this means single-sex spaces, sex-based protections, and identification documents will only reflect biological sex. Meanwhile, for transgender individuals, this will mean they will no longer have access to single-sex spaces, including bathrooms, prisons, and sports, which don’t correspond to their gender assigned at birth.

Dr WHO?

There was a popular saying during COVID: WHO lied, people died. Trump, and even many non-MAGA people, accuse the WHO of botching the COVID-19 pandemic, caving to political influencers, and being supremely mendacious on China’s behalf. They parroted Beijing’s false narratives during the early days of the pandemic, downplaying the severity and delaying global action.

Ergo, Trump sees no reason why the US, which sends $1.28 billion to the WHO biennially—about 18% of WHO’s total budget, far exceeding China’s $57.4 million contribution—should continue to foot the bill. The order guts Biden-era policies, revoking the 2021 decision to rejoin the WHO and dismantling the 2024 Global Health Security Strategy.

DOGE Day Out

DOGE—the first government department named after a meme coin—is now live. The brainchild of Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy (the latter being booted out after his comment about Americans being too lazy) plans to trim $500 billion in federal costs. With just 18 months to deliver on its promises, DOGE’s fate hangs in the balance. For now, Trump’s latest bureaucratic experiment has left critics and supporters alike asking: will this DOGE fetch results or just chase its own tail?

Also, here are some of the most viral moments from Day 1:

Melania’s Gangster Look

Even the Donald couldn’t kiss his wife as her hat got in the way, and Melania’s 1950s gangster look was the talk of the town. The Godmother is back in Washington, and she has some scores to settle.

Adorable Vance

Mirabel Vance, Vice President JD Vance’s 3-year-old daughter, stole the show with her Bluey and Scooby-Doo bandages, charming netizens with her relatable toddler quirks and bold “fashion statement.”

YMCA With a Sword

President Trump closed his Inaugural Ball with a spirited dance to “YMCA,” complete with fist pumps and a sword, leaving attendees—including VP Vance and Melania—in fits of laughter.

The Billionaire Oligarchy

Bernie Sanders criticized the “billionaire oligarchy” behind Trump, highlighting Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, and Jeff Bezos at the inauguration, as Musk assumes leadership of the new Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE). A thought for Sundar Pichai, who just became the first non-founder tech billionaire, and didn’t get a mention at all.

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