Brand it like Halwa

Standing up to competition with taste, effort, care

My first stand-up comedy outing in a theatre was the persuasive handiwork of my daughter. Persuasive not in the hard-selling MBA sense, but in that soft, father-melting voice that can make you abandon both logic and leisurely reading of the physical edition of weekend FT.

The show began 15 minutes late, proof that IST has now officially become a performance art. Opening act was an amateur whose jokes produced chuckles more out of sympathy for his nervous sweat than his punchlines. Then came the main act and 90 minutes of full-throated guffaws that could have registered on the Richter scale. I realised then the real role of the opener: comparison. Nothing flatters the leader more than a weak competitor.

The star comic’s set was mostly self-deprecating humour about marriage, long years where acts of love slowly develop blind spots, expectations eventually give way to acceptance, but finally you admit that no other person could have been more perfect. The metaphor he used was Halwa. That gooey, delicious, slightly sinful dessert that only a loving spouse can prepare, served with effort, care, and the occasional post-prandial regret.

Brand loyalties, too, are like marriages. The leader brands, this very newspaper included, sometimes develop blind spots. Readers, in a moment of fatigue, may wander off to try another broadsheet pretending to be a newspaper. Or, worse, to the TikTok-like world of bite-sized infotainment, instant gratification, but zero nourishment.

And here’s the power of the leader: the stand-up comic that evening did not recycle old WhatsApp jokes, nor did an AI bot impersonate a human with pre-packaged punchlines. Everything was curated, fresh, and original. Just as it should be in a leader brand, whether it’s a luxury label, an FMCG product, or the Newspaper. Because there are no shortcuts. No algorithm can substitute the sweat, care, and continuous investment needed to guard a reader’s or consumer’s trust. Comedy, like news, cannot be served in reels; it has to be real. A physical, lived experience. Comedy is too serious to be taken lightly.

Yes, occasionally consumers stray to other brands. But when they return, the contrast is sharper, the appreciation deeper, the Halwa sweeter. Because leader brands are irresistible, indulgent, and unforgettable. And in the end, stand-up, like leadership, is not about holding the mic. It’s about holding the audience. And that, dear reader, only the leader brand can truly do.

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