The young man consulting with me had a look of controlled anxiety. A self-check at home had shown his pulse to be faster and blood pressure to be higher than usual. It was necessary for me to find out if any stressful situation was causing the elevated numbers. He opened up and talked to me about how he had started his business from scratch and built it into a successful venture. His contented life lasted for a few years until he was duped by a partner.
“Now I am back in the dumps,” he said, asking me for help with the adverse effects from the stress. He was sure about the temporariness of the situation and his ability to bounce back. “I will take a leap again and, this time, protect myself from falls,” he said. Impressed with his optimism. I wrote a short course of medicines to curb his anxiety.
Leaps of faith
I reflected on the leaps of faith taken by people on different occasions. Getting married and moving out of parental care to a new family and a new place is a leap of faith, built on the fairy-tale belief of “living happily ever after”. In reality, such a fairy-tale ending is not universal. Unexpected and unpleasant circumstances test the resilience and erode the confidence of young adults. Overwhelming circumstances can be handled if there are people to confide in, loved ones who can act as safety nets. A composed mind will aid in taking stock of the situation and finding solutions.
Safety nets come in many forms: caring parents, a supportive spouse, considerate friends or an inherent never-say-die attitude. Taking up a new job, shifting to a new place and starting a new venture can all be seen as leaps of faith towards becoming successful. However, during the inevitable down phases, privileged are the ones who get to hear reassuring words such as, “Don’t worry. I am here for you.” Even non-verbal communication such as a look of concern and kindness or a gentle hand on the shoulder effectively convey, “You can count on me, just reach out.” Such words give the momentum to move forward instead of ruminating over bitter interactions and wallowing in self-pity.
A health crisis that comes as a bolt out of the blue is a serious setback that affects the life of family members. In this context, I remember working in a medical ward in the early 1980s. During the rounds, my senior colleague, with an Army background, would call some patients and their close relatives to meet him. The patient would have probably recovered from a life-threatening illness and would be awaiting discharge. The conversation would focus on the condition and warning signs to look out for. My senior colleague would wrap up with a final statement, “Sort out all your documents,” hinting at official papers related to finance and property.
Such a veiled yet no-nonsense suggestion appeared apt for families of elderly patients with chronic disease. A similar situation in a young patient becomes more difficult to deal with. The vibrancy of youth and busy lifestyle do not bring to mind the “sorting of documents” in good times. Banks and insurance companies remind us to include nominees, have a joint holder for accounts or start an education policy for children.
Death can strike suddenly in the form of accidents or heart attacks. A stroke can leave us incapacitated. It is sensible for everyone to sort out their documents and share relevant information with family members. The loss of a dear one will always remain a vacuum, but the struggle to acquire the rightful entitlement can be avoided. It is sad and absurd that scamsters wipe off crores of rupees within minutes while grieving dependents cannot access savings meant for them. My late mother used to say that the mere utterance of the word ‘fire’ will not scald the tongue. Considering the uncertainties of life, irrespective of age, everyone with whatever income should ensure safety nets for their dear ones well before it is time.
vijayacardio@gmail.com