The bubble of dance

1982—“It’s a girl!” the doctor tells my mother. I have arrived. I’m breathing bliss right now. I’m in my own flow—a doorway to ecstasy! Perhaps this is the feeling we all spend our lives chasing. Poor us, we live in oblivion—unaware that we have already lived it the very moment we come into the world.

1987—I’m a chubby girl of five, with dark brown eyes and two pigtails that swing back and forth as I sway to my grandma’s Haryanvi folk songs. I don’t understand a word. She loves to sing, and I pick up the rhythm and ‘dance’. I feel I’m inside a bubble reflecting rainbow colours. I can see the teeming world, yet nothing from it reaches me. I close my eyes and feel myself surrounded by the twinkling stars in the dark!

Dance is born in me!

I ask myself, “Would I stop dancing?”

“Not as of now!” I respond to my inquisitiveness.

2000—I’m knocking on the doors of adulthood now. Still in the raptures of the rainbow bubble of my childhood. I dance to the spirit of youth! l blush with shyness when the world gazes at me as I twirl. I’m blooming.

No, I wouldn’t stop dancing. Not yet.

2006—I’m married. New world, new people, new home. I’m not prepared for the chaos around. The sun is shadowing the moon.
Alas! I don’t want to grow up.

Here it is! I see the rainbow coloured bubble floating again. I plug my ears and dance my worries away to the rhythm.

“Are you my invisible companion?” I ask as I sway in a trance.

No, I haven’t stopped dancing. Not yet!

2009—I’m a mother now. I still sneak time from my buzzing life and dance—I pause, I breathe, I melt. I still float in my ‘bubble’.

Ahh! The little human I have created giggles watching me spin from corner to corner! I dance to make my baby happy!

No, I haven’t stopped dancing. Not yet.

2025—So many years have gone by. A few creases under my eyes, strands of grey peeking from my untied hair. Some nights—not a wink of sleep. Ohh! My hazy brain. I’m on the brink of midlife.

“My rainbow bubble?” you ask!

It’s still here, and I still float. Though I quickly feel weary—I still dance to please my soul. I dance to hold on to my long gone youth!
I dance to keep blooming through all seasons.

For the rest of my life—I will celebrate myself—swinging, twirling, and drifting.

I will dance to feel the flow—when my sense of time vanishes and my being becomes light as a dandelion. I will dance my way to the unknown place from where I came into this world!

Yes, I’ll dance—I’ll always do. It will always exist in my being.

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